Zebra Tears Read online

  The whistle blew, and the train jerked forward. We were finally on our way, with the girls claiming their territory for the duration of the long ride. Our compartment had about sixteen to twenty girls, most of them much older than me. I leaned out the window remembering the last experience of the smell of coal, the wind in my hair, and humming to the sound of the wheels clanking along. I finally turned around to see everyone in their seats either talking to one another, reading, or some in a group singing. I felt so exhilarated with the thoughts of a new adventure ahead that I didn’t care I had no window seat.

  I looked up at the baggage rack, noticing how wide and roomy it was. I checked the chains holding it up on each end, and they felt quite secure. I got a wonderful feeling of wanting to climb up high pretending it was a tall tree. I asked Ava and some of the big girls there to give me a push up, and now I had secured my territory. Using my little bag as a pillow, I lay in the baggage rack with my eyes closed listening to the girls talk about what they were going to do when they got home. I started imagining how wonderful it would be to see our beloved beach home and watch those beautiful sunsets. Some started planning to get off at one of the stations to buy romance novels. They were working out a plan by checking their watches for the next few stations and watched each platform where there might be a paper or bookstand. They discovered that every station so far had a kiosk in about the same place, and if the next stop had one they would jump out, money ready, and dash back, timing it just right.

  The train started slowing down, my heart started beating faster, and my stomach began to churn. I opened my eyes and swung down from the baggage rack, just barely reaching the seat and then the floor. The deal was, if there were many people in front of the stand, we were to come right back for another attempt at the next station. If there was to be a choice of books, just grab a variety and move fast. Ava decided that she would stay leaning out of the train window to yell with encouragement rather than run with them. My stomach stopped hurting immediately when I heard that, but my heart kept beating so fast I thought I would have to put my hands to my mouth in case it decided to leave my body.

  “Ready?” The train stopped. “Get set!” we all shouted. Bookstand sighted—“Go!” The two girls chosen dashed out the door to the stand while Ava and the rest of us started shouting, “Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.” My heart jumped with every “hurry” while I watched through the other sea of heads and bodies sticking out the windows all shouting in unison, “Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.” We felt the jolt of the train as we yelled, faster now, “Hurry,” and finally the door opened and shut with a slam! Whew! They all let out a tremendous scream of relief and pleasure, while there was a mad scramble for long-awaited forbidden romance novels.

  I found myself taking deep breaths to bring my heart into rhythm with the wheels once more. The compartment was silent again, even though some of the girls, in excited but hushed tones, nudged each other about what they had discovered in their books. I leaned out the window, closed my eyes, and began humming “My Papa” to the accompaniment of the wheels. How peaceful it was, I thought, and my mind wandered to Anna and Mina, wondering how they were doing. How I wished they could have been there to enjoy this moment with me. According to Anna, she was, because I was thinking of her.

  Lunch consisted of an egg sandwich and a banana. I took my lunch with me to the bathroom, where I saw a sink with running water and a beautiful commode. Wow! I put the seat cover down and sat on it to eat my sandwich, saving my banana for later. I put the banana down on the toilet seat and ran cold water over my hands, cupping them together and quickly drinking before it fell through my fingers. It felt so good when I washed my face and arms, and I did not care that I had no towel. I finally left the bathroom and went back to the window, tossing my banana up into the rack for later. The wind blew my face and arms dry while I sat on the edge of my seat watching the countryside go by.

  After a while I decided to people watch. I saw many Indian people going about their business, unaware of my eyes intruding into their private lives. Not much I could call exciting, but it was more of a pitiful sight. There were families with huge bundles tied up over their heads, a father with a small bundle on his head with his wife who had their little baby girl on her hip, and towing their son who could scarcely walk. I watched them look for a compartment that was not too full, all while hampered with their bundles and children and trying to board the train. I stretched my neck a great deal out of the window to tag along with my eyes. They finally did get on, just as the train jerked forward.

  Under protest of putting down their books, a couple of the girls gave me a hoist up to the baggage rack and threatened me to stay put for the evening. I smiled and rolled over onto my side facing the train wall, when I realized I had just squashed my banana! I jumped up and hit my head into the ceiling and fell back onto the banana, yelling, “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” I finally settled down and picked banana off my clothes and ate whatever I could rescue. Then I leaned over the edge and flung the banana skin out the window to land someplace, to probably be kicked around by some Indian kids with no inkling of the story behind that banana or where it came from. I decided to take a short nap until dinner, hoping it would be something more appetizing than an egg sandwich.

  I awoke to a sudden jerk, as the train came to an unscheduled screeching stop. I leaned over to look out the window, but it was pitch black. I noticed the other girls also had the same idea to discover what had happened. Under threats of losing the opportunity of ever getting back to the rack, I once again slipped down from my sanctuary to join the girls in this curiosity. A train engineer was waving a lantern, yelling inaudibly to the other end of the train. In synchronization, we all turned to look at the other lantern waving back but heard nothing. We returned to just waiting it out when one of the leaders from the other compartment hollered out her window to us. We now had window communication passed on from the front of the train, until it finally reached us.

  The story we got was that there was a sacred cow sitting on the tracks, as people were frantically trying to coax it to move. I learned that some Indian religions worshiped cows, and the train was to remain there until their god decided to leave. We kept getting news flashes passed down to us for the next couple of hours, when finally we heard shouts of cheering coming in waves through the night air. The train jerked forward again, and we all stared out into the darkness to see this amazing cow that was able to hold up a train for his holiness.

  I waited patiently for my turn at a sandwich and watched someone start eating theirs, noticing the familiar egg white. Oh well, something was better than nothing, I thought. My sandwich could have been eaten in just two bites, but I was happy to see a good-looking banana that I consumed right after the main course. I made my bathroom rounds and washed up again. I passed some girls engrossed in their third or fourth novel by now, while others slept, stretched out on the bench seats.

  Ava and another girl were trying different hairstyles, when suddenly I was grabbed into their midst. “Tess, don’t you want to look pretty for Mummy?” I nodded and let them give me a haircut. The other girl directed her on how much to cut on each side so it would look even. Finally, I stood up and watched my beautiful long hair fall to the floor. She looked at me, saying, “Great cut, Tess. Go look in the bathroom mirror.” I did what she asked, believing I looked pretty only because my big sister said so. I quietly went to the window near my baggage rack, put one foot on the seat between a sleeping girl and the window, put the other foot on the window sill, and then pulled myself up on the chain holding the rack. I swung the other foot up to the rack and rolled over onto it. My neck was itching now, and I kept dusting off the invisible hair responsible for the inconvenience and hoped Mummy would like my new hairstyle.

  Ava was shaking me awake, saying, “Bombay is next. Get up.” I awoke and saw daylight. The girls were grooming themselves and packing up what they had used on the trip. I quickly gathered the contents that had fallen out of my lit
tle bag and shoved them back in. I then grabbed the chain, stepped on the window, letting myself down onto the seat, and made a dash for the bathroom. I pounded on the door and heard someone yell, “In a minute.” I jumped up and down, paced back and forth until the door finally opened, and I rushed in and shut the door. I looked into the little broken mirror over the sink and noticed I had coal dust smeared on my face, and my hair was a mess. I washed and brushed my teeth, but having no comb or long hair I just wet and fingered my hair into place. I got out of there as fast as I could because I felt the train slowing down.

  There was no room at any of the windows, as the girls were anxiously looking through the crowds trying to pick out their parents who had come for them. I looked up and saw the sign approaching the station. It read “Bombay.”

  I heard Ava shout, “Mummy, Mummy! Over here!” I grabbed her by the skirt to make sure I wasn’t separated or left behind. I jumped off the train, keeping my eyes on Ava until she led us to Mummy. There she was, standing in the shade of an umbrella, waving to us. Ava jumped into her arms and hugged her while I waited my turn. She looked down at me and then touched my hair, while I gave her the biggest smile I had, feeling so pretty because Ava said I was.

  She bent and hugged me, saying, “What have you done to your pretty hair?” My smile faded immediately as Mummy said, “Stay close together, now. We have a taxi waiting.”

  I picked up my bag and followed them, thinking how Ava had once again deceived me. Why did she hate me so much?

  I jumped out of the taxi as soon as it stopped, trying to beat Ava to the entrance, but she always won. We waited in the doorway for Mummy to come in and our aya (servant) was helping her bring in our bags. Someone above us shyly said, “Hello down there,” and we looked up to find four girls between the ages of five to fourteen smiling down at us. I waved back and said hello, and so did Ava. We looked at each other for a few minutes, not knowing who they were, when Mummy walked up to us and waved to them too. She invited them to come meet her daughters. They were our neighbors on the second floor who had moved in since our send-off to boarding school. Jasmine was fourteen, Deena was twelve, Roda was ten, and Rena was five. Ava and Jasmine were the closest in age, while Roda and I were almost the same. Deena and Rena were the odd ones out, but I adored Rena, who reminded me so much of Mina.

  Everyone was in the big hall sitting on the floor learning about each other, and I suddenly remembered the beach and asked if they wanted to go swimming with us. Mummy called their mother, who said it would be no problem, but their aya would join us to keep an eye on Rena. We all squealed with joy, and in no time at all there were six laughing and screaming kids in the house. I really felt our holiday had finally begun.

  I stood at the same window that I had dreamed about in school and saw the shiny sparkles dance on the water in the distance. I quickly pulled off my dress and just left on my knickers and petticoat, kicking off my shoes and socks. The cold mosaic floor felt so wonderfully familiar that I rubbed my bare feet over it in a friendly hello. I turned to leave the room and dash down to the promenade when I stopped dead in my tracks. I was in the front foyer, where the kids had all gathered to wait for their aya. There was something wrong! I ran into the main hall, and there, too, Daddy was gone!

  I screamed for Mummy, pointing to the walls. “Where are all Daddy’s paintings?” Ava looked around and suddenly noticed they were gone too. All the beautiful murals that represented a living inheritance were whitewashed over. Mummy told us to go swimming with our new friends, and later she would talk about it. I couldn’t believe how empty it made me feel, nor could I imagine the angry thoughts that were beginning to erupt within my sister.

  Roda and I raced to the promenade, leaving the rest behind. Aya had Rena by her hand, protecting her every step; she was being treated like a little princess, but she struggled to get free of the hand that held her captive. We sat on the promenade wall, then climbed over the edge and jumped. What an exhilarating experience being airborne and landing on the soft sand below. I sat in the cool sand and dug my feet into it, waiting for the others to catch up. I pulled my head back and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath of the sea breeze.

  “Bhel!” I cried out. “I smell bhel!” I yelled again. Ava stood above me like a tall tower and pulled me up by the neck of my petticoat, saying, “Get in the water. I’ll race you.” She ran behind me as we joined the others. There were high and glorious waves, perfect for jumping through. Rena sat at the edge of the water with her aya and began building sand castles. In and out we bobbed through the waves, catching our breath just in time before the next one to hit. How I had missed it all. Roda made her way next to me so we could hold hands to help each other in case a big one overcame us.

  The high-spirited fun went on for so long that I didn’t notice Aya waving at us to come in. I bobbed up from under a big wave and noticed the girls had started moving back to shore. My attention was grabbed by a tremendous wave that knocked me under, leaving me to struggle to the surface. I felt I had been pulled deeper, and a weight was on my back that almost pinned my face into the sandy bottom. I had now run out of breath and struggled frantically to get back to the surface for air. I felt as though someone was standing on my back pushing me down to hold me there. I was again in the Dhobi box with no hope of escape!

  Suddenly a hand grabbed me by the leg and started pulling me up. I felt the pressure from my back lift, and I was free to kick my legs into the sand to boost me out of the waves and into the precious air. I took a big gulp, only to be knocked over by another wave. I saw Ava was just a little way in front of me making her way out to the beach. I used the next wave to propel me toward shore, which brought me crashing on top of her. She went down like a rock, and I couldn’t see her anywhere. I was now so terrified I developed a cramp in my stomach. I had to find her! I felt her limp body being tossed around with the current under my feet, so I grabbed her by her waist with my feet and began to pull her up. Once I could reach her with my hands, I pulled her face out of the water. She started coughing while I held onto her till she regained her breath. She gave me such a scared look, as though she had either met God or the devil! She pulled away from me and dashed for shore, leaving me to struggle to safety.

  Ava was lying on her tummy still coughing up the sea, and the aya was patting her on the back to aid the process. I pulled myself onto the shore and lay down to regain my strength. Roda came and sat next to me. “What happened to you, Tess. Did you get hit by a big one? I was so worried when I couldn’t see you anywhere in the water. Jasmine swam out to find you, but Ava said that she would look for you.”

  I managed to smile and said, “She found me, alright.”

  “Good,” said Roda, and she started telling me that Aya was taking us all to eat bhel as soon as we had recovered.

  After such a vigorous swim and our stomachs empty of rations since dinner on the train, I could have eaten every scrap that was on the bhel wagon. The man handed me the bhel neatly laid out on a banana leaf, when the smell just overcame my anxiously waiting stomach. I dug right in and ate gulps of it at a time. I looked at the others all eating it so daintily while I pigged out. They were all laughing at me. Even Ava smiled. Aya remarked that she had never seen anyone finish a bhel so fast, but I didn’t care. It was so good.

  After that wonderful treat, Aya told the man to open up six coconuts, and we all lay on the beach drinking the cool milk and munching on the soft, deliciously sweet coconut meat. I was so full now that I gave Ava the rest of my coconut, which she seemed to be enjoying almost as much as I did the bhel.

  After such an exhausting afternoon, Mummy suggested we take a nap. We discovered that it was an everyday occurrence that Mummy took an afternoon rest. We didn’t complain; instead we looked forward to just sleeping in a comfortable bed with our belly full. Our newfound friends went home and promised they would return to play with us later that evening. There was much to look forward to, but sleep took precedence.

  T
he smell of home cooking woke me from a deep sleep. Yummy onions, garlic, turmeric, fresh cooked rice, and dahl (red lentils). I sat upright in bed, only to discover that it was already dark outside. I had slept through the whole evening and failed to notice my first sunset. The steeples of Mount Mary’s convent glowed in the now darkening sky, leaving a streak of white light over the water, which had calmed in comparison to that afternoon. I heard the soft whoosh of the calm waves now breaking against the shoreline. The lights along the two sides of land bore a resemblance to a diamond necklace. I looked up into the sky and saw shiny sequenced stars around a slice of moon. I sighed at the beauty of the night and thought of Anna and Mina, wondering what they could see if they looked up at the sky right then.

  My nose steered me to the kitchen, where Aya and the cook were sitting at the table eating their dinner. I walked up to them and took a deep breath and said, “Can I have some?” Aya got up and fixed me a plate full of rice and dahl, while I pulled a chair to the table. There was a bowl of hot finger chilies and raw onion for a salad. Aya said that everyone had eaten, and Mummy told her to let me sleep. I was ravenous and dug into the food with my fingers like a “pukka Indian!” Cook and Aya thought I was so funny for making a simple meal sound like one fit for a king. I began to explain that I had not eaten anything so wonderful since I left for school, and I wouldn’t care if they served this every day.

  Just then Mummy walked into the kitchen and put her hand on my shoulder. “I see you have completely recovered,” she said. I looked up at her smiling with my mouth full, nodding. She lovingly patted my head and told me that everyone was out on the promenade enjoying the cool night breeze, and I should join them when I was done with dinner. Mummy told Aya to bring out a large jug of lemonade for everyone, and then she and the cook could leave for the night. Mummy returned to the promenade while I stayed to finish my meal. Aya got up and fixed the lemonade, and the cook cleaned up the dishes.